Tuesday, 07 August 2007

• *Chapter Twenty* Loving You Part III

  
  
  
  

  < Part 3 >

  
  

  Leaves scattered in the chilly wind. The streets had been emptied by the abrupt cold. The air inside the crowded bus was stuffy. En Chan opened the window slightly and the cold wind that rushed in blew through her hair. A gold earring twinkled on the end of her right ear.

  
  

  The atmosphere of the jazz cafe Da Soop, where she hadn't been back since she'd worked there part-time, was still as good as ever. There were not a few customers who sat enjoying the slow jazz flowing through the air. When she arrived, Han Sung was already sitting down.

  
  

  “You're here pretty early. I'm not late am I?”

  
  

  “There wasn't as much traffic as I thought there would be. Did you eat dinner?”

  
  

  “With my coworkers. You haven't eaten yet?”

  
  

  Saying he hadn't had time, Han Sung ordered a steak and En Chan ordered beer.

  
  

  “You seemed quite surprised to receive my call.”

  
  

  “Oh... yes. I didn't know you would.”

  
  

  “About two weeks ago, I met Han Kyul at company headquarters. He entered the company as a regular employee and he's already been promoted to proxy director. He's in the financial department. Did you know that?”

  
  

  En Chan shook her head and took in a mouthful of beer.

  
  

  “Actually, this franchise idea was first brought up by him, too. He'd thought it out pretty carefully. He even submitted a marketing plan, and I have to say, it was quite convincing. It might be that he was just smart about it, but it made even me feel that it would be a waste not to consider it.”

  
  

  The moment Han Kyul's name had come out from Han Sung's mouth, En Chan's heart had begun racing. To tell the truth, she had anticipated hearing news about Han Kyul from Han Sung. But now that he was telling her what she'd wanted to hear, she began to feel more and more depressed. She felt angry and sad that he was doing so well and hadn't once contacted her in all that time.

  
  

  “Your hair's much longer now,” said Han Sung, looking at the hair that covered En Chan's ears.

  
  

  “You think so? I'm getting bored because it's not growing fast enough.”

  
  

  Han Sung leaned back and looked steadily at En Chan. En Chan avoided the uncomfortable gaze and drank her beer.

  
  

  “Is Han Kyul still acting the same way? Have you tried calling him?”

  
  

  “No.”

  
  

  En Chan raised her hand and ordered more beer.

  
  

  “Take it easy.”

  
  

  “I'm not going to make a fool of myself like you did, so don't worry.”

  
  

  “You haven't changed a bit, have you?” Han Sung smiled before returning to his meal. While he finished, En Chan found herself buzzed after her first drink in a while. Han Sung had already learned all about the details of Coffee Prince from the marketing plan that Han Kyul had submitted, so the information En Chan offered was basically supplementary. Han Sung had the deciding authority, but he would have to discuss the details of the plan with his own subordinates.

  
  

  “And Mr. Hong is in favor of this plan, right?”

  
  

  “Well, Coffee Prince was Han Kyul's project, wasn't it? Coffee Prince was born through that person. The concepts for interior design, order forms, all of it. If he wants to do it, how can any of us say no? All of us employees owe him so much and we've all fallen for him.”

  
  

  “Fallen for him?”

  
  

  “He was like a guardian angel. He appeared just when we were all struggling and helped us all and then vanished into thin air. Of course we've all fallen for him.”

  
  

  “That's not what Han Kyul says.”

  
  

  “What does he say? Did he say anything? I mean, he still remembers us?”

  
  

  “He said that his workers never ceased to stimulate and spur him on.”

  
  

  “Stimulate? Yea, we did that. Nak Kyun went AWOL in the beginning and then Ha Rim left home, and Sun Ki.... Do you know anything, by the way? How he dealt with Sun Ki's case?”

  
  

  “No.”

  
  

  “I suspected as much.”

  
  

  En Chan let out a sigh and took another sip of her beer.

  
  

  “He's a mysterious one, that man. I can never tell what he's thinking.”

  
  

  “Both of you have gotten much thinner. And sharper.”

  
  

  “He rebelled like crazy, so why did he end up going into the company anyway? Does he like work that much? He probably lives buried in work, huh?”

  
  

  En Chan, who'd begun to drink more quickly, began to slur her words. She slouched and her eyes clouded over while she began to talk wildly.

  
  

  “Man, I feel like shit. These days, I remind myself of a bum. I eat and eat and eat and I'm still hungry, and I put clothes on but I feel cold like I'm naked. Man, I'm pathetic. Freakin' pathetic. Like a freakin' idiot. My insides hurts like I drank vodka on an empty stomach. My insides hurts so much....”

  
  

  En Chan, who'd been grumbling, stopped speaking. It was because she'd seen Han Kyul and Yu Ju walking in the entrance together. Han Sung turned his head and looked at the two of them. Han Kyul's face went rigid as well. En Chan gripped the bottle she was holding tightly as if to break it.

  
  

  Han Sung stood up.

  
  

  “So we end up meeting here.”

  
  

  En Chan put her elbows on the table and put her head on her palm. She glared at Han Kyul who was walking toward them with a scowl on his face.

  
  

  “I forgot that the two of you are regulars here. It looks like you were in the middle of talking business, so please, continue.”

  
  

  Han Kyul turned Yu Ju around and began to walk away when En Chan, who'd been watching him, yelled,

  
  

  “YA! Choi Han Kyul!”

  
  

  She stabbed the air with her finger and sprung up from her chair. She teetered but did not fall.

  
  

  “You, boy am I glad to see YOU! YOU! Who the hell are you! What kind of stingy-ass jerk of a man are you!”

  
  

  Han Kyul, completely ignoring En Chan, turned to Han Sung and said,

  
  

  “Looks like she's drunk. You should probably take her outside.”

  
  

  “Are you drunk, En Chan?”

  
  

  At Han Sung's question, En Chan shook her head vigorously.

  
  

  “NO!”

  
  

  The shaking made her dizzy and she reeled, but she soon found her balance and continued to glare at Han Kyul.

  
  

  “You were the one who thought I was a guy in the first place. You never asked me if I was really a guy or not. And now you're not even giving me a chance to explai myself? You bastard! Just who the hell do you think you are, huh? HUH? Say something, you twisted, miserable human being!”

  
  

  Han Kyul looked at her, incredulous, before turning around, as if to say she wasn't worth dealing with, and began to walk away.

  
  

  Until En Chan said this.

  
  

  “You tell Ha Rim to come out, but you go in? What a traitor.”

  
  

  Han Kyul whipped around and walked toward her with a terrifying expression on his face. En Chan flinched inside, but she placed her bets on the excuse that she was drunk, and stood her ground, glaring at him.

  
  

  “What? Am I wrong?”

  
  

  En Chan lifted her chin up and began to shoot her words at the cold gaze that looked down at her from so close.

  
  

  “You pervert cabbage slug! If you're a man, act like one and act your age! How can you be so un-understanding? If your employee's been laid up in a hospital bed with an injury, shouldn't you come by to visit at least once? Even if I'd committed a mortal sin, you should've asked what my reason was for it. Am I wrong, you flea-minded old geezer!”

  
  

  The customers in the store were looking on with amusement. But now Han Kyul himself was too angry to back away.

  
  

  “All right. Fine. Try explaining yourself, why don't you? Try explaining the reason why you laughed at me and played around with my mind for months and months. It's probably a damn good one, right? It's not something as stupid as a few hundred bucks, right?!”

  
  

  “Damn it! Yea! It was as stupid as a few hundred bucks! What are you going to do about it! Must be nice to have so much money, ahjussi. Must be nice to be able to earn money without having to lie to anyone! Was I so wrong? And when the hell did I ever laugh at you or play around with your mind?! I never did that!”

  
  

  “Never did that? Never pretended to be an honest, flawlessly innocent kid so you could steal my heart away?!”

  
  

  “When! When! I never did that! I tried to tell you honestly! But I got scared, all right?! I got scared that if I told you, I might lose it all! Why couldn't you help me and figure it out first? You dense moron! How can you know me for three months and not even know? Do you know what that did to my self-respect? Goddamn it! Am I.... am I really not it? You really don't feel anything towards me?”

  
  

  Suddenly En Chan's face flushed bright red. She felt like she was going to die from humiliation. But she stood her ground. She stood her ground because she thought to herself that if she walked out from here, it would be the end. If she was never going to be able to see him again, she wanted him to tell her straight out right here, right now. She wanted him to tell her if she wasn't, so she could at least wake up....

  
  

  “What am I, a gay? Why would I feel anything towards a man?”

  
  

  He'd said it straight out. En Chan felt like someone had struck her with a chair. Wanting him to tell her straight out... apparently that had been a lie. Maybe it was because she was drunk, but the thought that she couldn't let him go rose up from inside of her. She wanted to grab onto him as a friend, at least, or even blood brothers. To think that she'd never see him again made her heart ache so badly she felt like she was going to die. She couldn't live like this anymore. This was too pathetic and heartbreaking and cruel....

  
  

  “It was better when you were a boy. I wanted to make you my little brother because you were cute. You remember me saying that, right? But what? You're a woman? What would I do with a girl like you? You stop at nothing to get at some money and you stab people in the back. You bitch.”

  
  

  At Han Kyul's ruthless words En Chan flinched, wounded. But her desperation rose higher than her anger. En Chan bit down on her lip as she lifted her hair to show her ear.

  
  

  “Th-then let me be your little brother. I still have your mark. C-can't I be that, at least?”

  
  

  The tears in her eyes shined and twinkled like the gold earring on her ear. Everyone who'd been watching them froze in silence. Only Han Kyul, who was breathing hard, looked like a living creature. Han Kyul shouted, his eyes more furious than they had been before,

  
  

  “You think you're the only one who's lost self-respect? You stepped all over my pride! You ripped it to shreds!”

  
  

  Han Kyul clenched his jaw and growled. When he saw a teardrop fall from En Chan's eyes, he finally exploded.

  
  

  “How could a male not recognize a female? Do you know how humiliating that is to a man? There are some things men never want to let women see! Goddamn it!”

  
  

  Han Kyul left. En Chan, who'd gone pale, rubbed her tears away with the back of her hand. She repeated the words he'd just said. Things men never want to let women see? What things? What did I see?

  
  

  En Chan's self-control crumbled. She was angry and hurting and sad and in despair so she screamed desperately,

  
  

  “I didn't see anything! I don't even know what you're talking about, so how could I have seen it?!”

  
  

  And then he reappeared. He quickly walked over to her in big strides.

  
  

  En Chan flinched in surprise at his roughness and caught her breath. He had come at her so recklessly that she thought that maybe he was going to hit her.

  
  

  “It's this, stupid,” he said, almost at her nose.

  
  

  The moment she thought, 'This? What's this?' her head was grabbed and pulled. En Chan realized that she was being kissed. When his tongue came into her mouth, she finally realized what 'this' was as well. En Chan, who'd been frozen, began to melt. Emotions and excitement suffused her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on. A tingle of pleasure ran down her entire body. As if asking for a deeper kiss, En Chan's body began to bend backwards, and Han Kyul pulled her toward him with all his might. When their deep and passionate kiss ended, her lips, still lost in ecstasy, were straining toward his. Even when she belatedly realized that he'd pulled away and opened her eyes, En Chan was still in a daze. Han Kyul was smiling at her. Everyone who'd been watching their deep kiss came out of their trance and burst into applause and cheers.

  
  

  After Han Kyul had run out pulling En Chan along by her hand, Han Sung and Yu Ju sat in front of each other awkwardly.

  
  

  “Feels like I've just finished watching a movie.”

  
  

  “It's a happy ending.”

  
  

  “Men don't care about stuff like that.”

  
  

  “What do they care about then?”

  
  

  “Sex scenes and action.”

  
  

  “You know, I think that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say.”

  
  

  “Was I really that dry?”

  
  

  Han Sung gave Yu Ju a rare smile.

  
  

  “Thank you for helping.”

  
  

  “Say nothing of it. It's also the owner's obligation to make pay attention to his business partner's emotional health. The lady got drunk quite easily on her own.”

  
  

  “And Han Kyul got excited quite easily on his own as well. They must be made for each other.”

  
  

  Han Sun and Yu Ju looked at each other with friendly eyes for the first time in a long time, just like they used to back before they'd been lovers, back when they'd been like brother and sister....

  
  
  
  

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